so, lately more than ever, i’ve been thinking about a new tattoo.

what would i get? where would i get it? when would i get it? i think if i get another 1 that i should wait & get it for myself on some sort of occasion.. like say, as a “prize” or something after doing something.. like losing weight, or finishing up my 1st year of college. but all of that is a long wait & i’m extremely impatient. why would i get it? again like i said, i think i should have a reason to get a tattoo, not just because i want another one. you know?

i drew up a tattoo that i thought i might get for Ben. but then.. i think i would get it on either my left or right shoulder blade. BUT as of right now, thats not exactly a very appealing part of my body.. with acne coming & going. its just not a good spot for it. the only way i can usually get that to go away is tanning in a tanning bed for a few weeks or so. & i don’t really see the point in tanning right now, because i don’t have any special occasions coming up. i don’t know if that makes sense to anybody else, but it does to me.

then, i’ve also always wanted to get the pisces sign on the inside of my left wrist like my sister. that is something i’ve thought about on & off for awhile now too. the only cons about it that i can see are me wanting to become a nurse. but also, its the law that you can’t hire somebody because of being bias, right? & if nothing else, i could just cover it up.

ohhh, i don’t know. we’ll just have to wait & see. if i started losing weight, which is another thing always in the back of my mind.. then i would decide faster, but we’ll see.

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allergies. man i hate them. they’re so annoying, so inconvenient. ugh. i’m sitting here sniffling every 5 sec. because of it. i take medicine & i should take them now too but i want to wait until closer to when i go to bed so that i don’t wake up in the middle of the night having a really bad runny nose like i did last night. grr. so frustrating.

schools going pretty good.. i don’t mind the drive to iowa city every day really.. its just hard finding things to do during the breaks between my classes. i thought it would be a good thing, give me a break & all but i think next semester if i can, i’m going to get my classes all in the morning or all during the afternoon.. at least for the day. so 1 day they might be in the morning & the next in the afternoon. i hope i can do it that way because waiting for a few hours in between classes in IC gets pretty boring. i mean, i can go places but then those places cost money.. ya know? grr.

i’ve been debating on whether tomorrow i should go visit with bryan’s grandma & grandpa. they’ve told me time & time and again that i can go over there & visit whenever i want to, but i think i’d sort of feel weird hanging out over there without bry.. especially since he usually makes the call as to when we leave & i have 3 hrs. in between classes tomorrow & ahh frustrating. idk?

other than that, classes are going pretty good. i’m still only really worried about my 1 class human a&p, the others i think i’ll do good in. which reminds me, i still have to read the rest of chapt. 4 for my oral comm. class. better get to that. ha!

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So, I’m starting Kirkwood Classes tomorrow.. kind of a bummer because I’m not one to study & study & study, but I know I’m going to have to.. after all, this isn’t high school any more, I’m going to have to get good grades & keep them that way.

High school I didn’t really care about? I guess you could say, but this is college, this is something I’m studying to do for the rest of my life. I’m going to have to know all I can to do this.

It’s just a bummer mostly for waking up early, I la-la-la-love being able to sleep in in the morning. Aww. It’s just so nice. But it will also be good for me because the more I spend time alone, the more I think & miss Bryan. Although I’ll still miss him a lot, I’ll be doing something with my time, rather than watching tv or being on the computer all day. Something productive.

I’m also thinking about looking into the Core Fitness place they have up there.. I know I’ve tried to do dieting & exercising many times before, BUT this I’ll actually have to be paying for, so maybe I’ll feel I need to get my moneys worth? I don’t know, like I said I’m just looking into it for now, I can’t seem to find a website for it & that’s usually how I like to look up info. I don’t really want to just walk in there because then people sit there & talk to you & try to talk you into things & ahh, I’m not much of a people person. So we’ll see.

Plus, I only have class from 8-11 tomorrow, 3 hours isn’t bad. I have a feeling Tuesdays are going to be my favorite day. Haha. =)

Well, I’m off to take out my contacts.. & try to go to sleep.

Good night all.

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I happen to feel really close to my family. I may not get to see my oldest brother & sister very often, but I feel we have a close-knit family. There’s many reasons why I feel this way but tonight it appeared to me more so than usual.

The past 2 nights when Matt has gotten home, he’s gotten on MSN  & we’ve chatted. It’s so good to talk to him & know that we do agree on things, a lot more now than we did when we were kids. But we do have a lot in common whether he realizes it or anybody else does.. I do & that makes me happy.

Every one of my family members means so much to me. I get something different from every one..

My dad is the big cuddly teady bear, which can sometimes be grouchy & seem kind of mean, but he’s really not.
My mom is the one I can talk to about anything & I know she’ll listen, maybe even judge at times, but hey, sometimes I need it.
My sister & I don’t really talk much.. but when we do e-mail I can always count on smiling or laughing about 1 thing or another. She is so incredibly bright, I don’t know if even she knows it.
My oldest brother, the one I look most alike. I think that’s something in itself.. even though he doesn’t have the best patience in the world, I know that we’re a lot more alike than we think. He also still likes to pick on me like we’re kids again.
My “little older brother” & I have gotten along more & more so these past couple of years. It’s like he’s still older & wants to boss me around, yet wants to continue taking care of me too.
My boyfriend, the one I really believe I will spend forever with. He’s incredible. He listens with an open mind, but also corrects me when he knows I’m in the wrong. He’s somebody who tells the truth & doesn’t mean to be hurtful. My mom is the sameway.

Ahh.. I’m so glad I have such a great family. I wouldn’t change mine for any in the world.

We went to Adventureland today.. me, mom, dad, Brian, Tonyia & Mirielle. It was okay right at first, it was so extremely busy! Ugh.. I know you have to wait in line to do anything but today I swear it was like 10x worse. I don’t mean to be a negative Nancy but really, in busy places like that, you really understand that people don’t have shit for manners.

Like really, we were in line to go on the raging river or whatever.. & I really don’t mean to be racist, because I’m not, but there were 4 hispanic kids standing in front of us & ok, fine, what’s that matter? But then seriously, more & more people started coming up & talking with them & getting in line with them. Not even kidding, I counted & by the time it was there turn to get on the log ride, there was not 8 of them.. not 15 of them BUT 21!! Are you kidding me? 17 people got in line in front of us.. it was rediculous. I just found it rude because we were waiting too.. we wanted to ride the log ride just as much as they did.. it was terrible.

THEN.. we’re getting ready to leave & so I go to the restroom quick & these 5 girls get ouf of line & go & look at themselves in the mirror & then when I get to the front of the line, 1 girl goes “actually, we’re next” & I seriously just gave her this look.. & she goes “ok..?” all confused & I just went into the bathroom. Like I was really going to let her & her friends get back in front of me to go to the bathroom after they got out of line.. umm NO!

Enough about that.. I miss Bryan! Go figure, right? This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I think its because I know that when I have a problem or I just want somebody to talk to that he’s not right there for me. I know I still & always will have my mom, but ya know.. we get crabby with eachother, so then who am I suppose to talk to? Haha. Bryan is suppose to call me here in a little bit.. I can’t wait to hear his voice!

Well thats all for now I suppose, I’m going to continue talking to my brother on MSN, flip through the channels a bit, wait for Bry to call & then head off to bed.

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so today Bryan moved up to UNI for college.. & its so sad for me; almost depressing it seems.

I know I shouldn’t be so sad, he is going to be back in a week & a half for a slowpitch tournament to help raise money for Parkinson’s Disease & then go to Matt&Crystal’s wedding reception. But its just so hard, he’s lived with me for a little over 3 1/2 years– so in that time, I’ve spent & seen him every day of my life pretty much for that long of a period. Now I’m going to be seeing him every other weekend or so.. maybe less since he’s working at the UNI Dome for sports events & other events. But I’ll get to see him for a week long on Thanksgiving break & then he also has an entire month off for Christmas.

It’s just going to take a lot of getting use to. Everything I see makes me think of him..

But I do also need to realize that he’s doing something good for himself & good for our future. He wants to be a high school counselor. And he needs to fulfill his dreams. I just really miss him.

Like mom said too though, maybe it’ll make me appreciate him more.. & I think she’s right.. Since I’ll only see him every so often, I’ll want to be in a good mood when I’m around him so that way he’ll want to come home more often.

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Hello.. so this is my first post. Pretty interesting.. I’ve been trying to get 1 of these for awhile now.. since I realized my mom had one actually.

I’m not really sure as to what to do & how I add friends? Maybe mom will help me with that one but as of right now she looks pretty tired, so I’ll ask her tomorrow maybe.

Bye for now.

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