life lately.
so since.. about tuesday.. haha, so yesterday. things have been going a lot better. bryan & i have been getting along so well, its great.
i can’t wait to see him! 
he’s not coming home til friday.. but it’ll be so good to see him. he’s going to come home early enough on friday that while i’m in class, he can go see his grandparents & then he’ll be able to come home & see me/hang out with me for a bit, before i have to go to work at 3. then he’ll come in & see me & jean at work.. then he’s planning on heading off to work for a bit so he can make some extra money.
well, my baby, keira.. wants me. so i better go! =]
<333
busy week.
tomorrow is the start to a busy week.
monday- i have my math class, 2 hours between that i’ll probably spend at least a half an hour, working on my speech that’s due the next day.. then an hour lecture. come home for a bit, then off to work.
tuesday- up early for oral comm. where my speech is due the next is comp1, off for 3 hours.. so i’ll come back home. than back to class for a 2 hour lab; quiz in that class. get home around 4:15, eat supper with the fam. & then off to do homework.
wednesday- the same 2 classes as monday, work.
thursday- 2 classes in the early morning, get done at 11, work from 1-5 then have class again from 7:30-9 [test].
friday- math again.. huge test that i have to study for in human a&p lecture. then off to work again!
saturday&sunday- days off, bryan’s home.
well, thats the sum of my week in case i don’t happen to update!
getting pretty tired tho, probably do a few more things then off to bed. in MY comfy bed.. not bryan’s futon. muahaha.
goodnight all!
all is ok, like i knew it would be.
sooo, i don’t know why it was bothering me so much earlier. like i said, i just needed to talk to bryan. & everything was that much better. plus, i e-mailed him & wrote down everything that i was feeling & even doing that makes things better.
it helped too, to write on this, but i knew i needed to tell bryan how i felt. everything is good again. i love him.
so i know i’ve posted before that i live for the weekends.. & really i do. this week, i work monday, wednesday, thursday & friday. bryan is going to be coming home on friday.. he said he planned on stopping by his grandparents house on his way home– he bought them some coffee cups today that said, “UNI Grandma” & “UNI Grandpa”. they’re pretty cute. =) but he wanted to stop by, because this will be the first time he’s seen them in, i think, 4 weeks. we planned on going together, but i have to work friday night, so he thought he’d just stop by on friday. plus, we’ll probably go see them again on sunday.. then that way, i can see them too. because i haven’t gone since he’s been there.
but then we have alll day saturday & alll day sunday together. so exciting. saturday is iowa’s homecoming, so if we go anywhere, i’m assuming we’ll go to muscatine. but i’ve always wanted to take bryan up to cedar valley. somewhere where my mom use to take me when i was younger. i’ve always, always, always wanted to take him there, but never have. so maybe i will this saturday? that would be some quiet, get away time. somewhere that probably won’t be busy either & we can walk along the quarry. i’ve mentioned to him about going & taking the dogs sometime, but kaydo cries during all car rides so.. that probably won’t happen.
i also need to clean the room before he gets here.. which means that i need to put away all my clothes, which is probably about 3-basketfuls. vacuum the carpet and make the bed. with clean sheets, since the boys can’t seem to do anything but dirty them. 
& idk what else.
well this is all i have, just wanted to let everybody know that all is well again. going on 4 1/2 years in october.
back home.
so, i’m back home from Cedar Falls.. & so far, idk. i miss bryan like crazy.. and i know we talked about all the stupid shit people said, but really.. its like eating away at my head. so much that i feel like my heart is breaking. like it really feels like my heart is skipping a beat, because i feel like crap.
i trust bryan, i really do. i just don’t trust other ppl.. by that i mean the people that say shit just to, how i see it, to make me mad. i feel like people are trying to break us apart because they know of all the good things we had, and what we DO have. mom pointed out to me that i do some of the same things i get mad at bryan for.. but i do these things with people we BOTH know.. not just somebody he knows. it drives me nuts.
like seriously.. this girl. BJ says he thinks she’s afraid of me. which made me happy for awhile.. but thats not what i want. thats not what’s going to make me happy. to hear somebody’s afraid of me.. so maybe, just maybe she’ll leave my boyfriend alone? it doesnt make sense that, that would make me feel better. so maybe she is afraid of me & won’t talk to anybody when i’m hanging out with them.. but whats to keep her from him when i’m NOT there?
mom says that if he were to cheat on me, that i should tell him that he just needs to tell me the truth & that i would still like to be friends with him. i do agree to some extent. he does need to tell me, if he did anything to me. i mean really, i’ve come clean with him with every guy that i ever liked since we’ve been dating. so i know i’ve had a few shares of my own, but i’ve come out & told him. & i hope to God, that he would do the same.. because i think i deserve at least that much. i don’t think i could be friends with bryan if he cheated on me.. but then again, i think i’d also have a faint of heart & take him back in an instant. isn’t that pathetic?
but he’s all that i know. he’s pretty much my world, and if that were to just drop in a min. because 1 or a few days seemed more important at the time than an entire 4 1/2 years together? i think i would go completely insane.
so i didn’t write this for anybody, you mom, to worry about me. i wrote it because i needed to get it off my chest & now, i feel a little bit better about it. & i know i’ll talk to bryan about it tonight & probably be completely over it. but its just one of those things.. that if i didn’t tell it, it was going to eat away at me.
i love him. he really is my everything, most important thing to me next to my family. i want to marry him, i want to have kids with him.. but what if thats all torn away because of 1 day that just seemed worth it all?
i just really am afraid of losing him.. please God, don’t let me lose him for any reason at all. please help us both be failful to eachother. please, please.. don’t take him away from me.
DRAMA.
so things were going PERFECT up here.. we were getting along so well. we still are getting along so well, but people need to stop running their mouths! like seriously people, we’re not in junior high any more, we’re not in high school, the bullshit needs to stop! seriously, i hoped after high school, the drama would end, but apparently not.
why are you being so damn immature? ughhh.
i’m going to go.
Keira Cheyenne.
Ohh this little girl. She is QUITE adorable. I just love her to pieces.
Last night, she was in such a good mood! I couldn’t believe how well-behaved she was being. Except with the little her not wanting to keep her hands off/away from the laptop so I had to smack her fingers repeatedly. I don’t really know what was with that? She also kept wanting to pull the cord out of the back, so that it wouldn’t charge.
But of course, other than that.. she was incredibly cute. I got 7 kisses in just 1 sitting! I just puckered my lips out for her to kiss them & she had her face next to mine, whispering to me quite the story & then she’d just lean in & kiss me. Oh how I love her kisses, she is perfection, I swear. So perfect, that I don’t think Matt&Crystal could make a cuter one!
Or myself for that matter.. she really makes me realize how badly I want children of my own! She’s such a little booger & can be quite the little butthead, but on days like yesterday, she was a perfect little angel. Oh, also with the exception of her trying to hit me while we were at Dollar General, but she’ll learn!
I love that little niece of mine.
this weekend.
This weekend, I have taken off of work so I can go see my love. We went without seeing eachother last weekend & I will admit, I only really thought about him a lot when I wasn’t occupied with doing something else. So, I guess I didn’t really think too much about him, like I thought I would not seeing him for a weekend.
But this weekend, we have allll weekend together. & it’s going to be so incredibly nice, I think. Even if we just bum around, we’ll still be with eachother. & his roommate won’t be there so that makes things 10x better! He does work Saturday night.. from 5-10 or so.. but I figured that maybe I can talk to Abby & see if she wants to go & see the game. He’s going to be a “security guard” at the volleyball game. So I could still see him.. just not talk to him. Ha. That would also be a nice way to catch up with Abby, but we’ll see because I really don’t know if she has anything planned or not.
Even if I don’t go, I figure I’ll just bum around in his room, I’ll get on his computer & find something to do, I’m sure. Take a few naps & so on. Maybe even go to the bookstore? They have a lot of nice UNI stuff there.. pretty expensive though, but DUH. haha.
I’ve made a list of all the things I’ll need to take with me, I should probably double check it sometime today just to make sure. Mom said she was doing laundry tonight, so then I’ll be able to start packing things up.
the weather
What is the deal with the weather? Really? It’s sending me mixed signals & I don’t like it!
Last week it was mostly chilly, this week so far its been pretty nice.. It’s suppose to be 90 on Friday! & today the high is only suppose to be 79! So its going to jump 11 degrees in 2 days? Geeeeez. I guess the A/C will have to be on, on my way up to Cedar Falls.. don’t want the wind to blow my hair. HA, yeah right.. only kidding about that one.
I actually LOVE having windows down in a car, but not when its humid wind. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I’m sure some of you know what I’m talking about. Its just.. ugh gross.
Relationships
I know everybody has been this way, at least everybody in my family. But when you’re crabby or irritated with something, you take it out on other people/things. And well I’m guilty of doing that very thing tonight..
I was irritated with something that I shouldn’t have been, something I over-analyzed & made too much of. Anyways, I took it out quite a few times, at different times throughout the day.. on my mom.
I feel bad, extremely really. It’s something that I just don’t think about until later on & I think “Man, that was pretty crappy of me..” I did little things like raise my voice at her.. for stupid reasons, I don’t get it now.
Also, I’m going to see Bryan this weekend, leave Friday after class & then return mid-Sunday. This actually scares me, like thinking about it now.. I’m going to miss mom & dad so much. Ha, I actually sound kind of like a baby.. but I don’t care. It’s just going to be weird. I know I’ll call them, it’s just I don’t know how to explain it in any other word than weird. Ha. And I do believe I’ll come home mid-Sunday because I’ll want to just relax after the 1 1/2 hr. car ride & just be able to catch up with mom & dad.
I can’t wait to see Bryan, but I’m definitely going to miss mom & dad too. I told them earlier, “I’m never going to be able to move out.” Haha. We’ll see though.
Well it’s time for bed.. & mom when you read this, if I don’t tell you beforehand (which I might not, since you’re already asleep). I’m sorry for being difficult & being grouchy earlier.. & I love you.
Goodnight all!
<333
Weekends.
Oh, how I love weekends.
I actually meant to write this blog yesterday, but dad was ready for bed, so I decided I should too.
Anyway, I think I live for the weekends & I don’t mean that the way most kids, rather adults my age do. I don’t mean it because I go out drinking all the time & just can’t wait for that huge party, where like, totally all my friends are going to be.
No, forget that. I love weekends because it’s family time. It’s down time. There’s no class, it’s usually not too busy. It’s just time to relax. Time to sleep in & we all know I love my sleep. As of this time, its the only time I see Bryan.. it’s just great.
& yes, I do love family time, even if I sometimes complain about it. Because I do feel like I have to accomodate when family is here. But that’s just mostly because I don’t understand the ‘need’ to watch TV the whole time.. hello? Ha.. ok. That’s getting off subject, but I LOVE THE WEEKENDS!
