Bryan.
Mom says that I’m busy with Bryan a lot so she doesn’t see me enough. & I do feel bad, but..
I miss Bryan. I miss seeing him every single day. I hate that I only get to talk to him on the phone & that I can’t drive 5 minutes whether its to his work or wherever to see him. I miss waking up next to him in the morning. I miss waking up in the middle of the night to make him move over because he’s taking up too much of the bed. I miss waking up in the middle of the night to cover him up because I’ve somehow accomplished to steal all of the covers from him. I hated this when he was here, but I really miss waking him up at 3 in the morning to ask him where the remote is because he didn’t turn it down low enough before he went to bed. I miss him bugging the crap out of me just because he knew he could do it..
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE talking to him on the phone, I love hearing his voice & I love the incredible hugs he gives me when he first sees me after not seeing me at all for a week. Those moments are incredibly precious. They mean so much to me, so much to me that I try not to argue with him when we do get the chance to be together. We agreed the other night that we argue when we are together because we’re so aggitated that we only have that little time together because the weekends aren’t long enough.
I miss him so much and I am so thankful for when I do get to talk to him & when I do get to see him, but its frustrating. I love that we’ve been together for.. 4 1/2 years here in October. It’s so crazy, its gone by so fast but yet it seems like just yesterday when we first started hanging out, back in the 8th grade.
I love him with all my heart. & my family too. 
He’s my world & I really do not know what I would do if I didn’t have him..
Well I’m going to go call him & then head off to bed. Good night to all!
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So, I don’t remember when the last time I wrote in here was, so I thought I should probably update it.
I don’t really have much coming to mind right now, as I’m sitting here trying to write. Which is extremely weird. Last night I had ALL these things coming to mind about what I could write about, but dad was ready for bed, so I thought I should get off the computer.
So maybe I should have stayed on the computer? But.. oh well; it’ll probably come back to me.
Everythings good in my world.
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homework/work
so right now, i’m sitting in the computer lab at school.. because i was going to try & start my micro-lit hmwk, BUT i think i grabbed the wrong book for the hmwk or something because it just doesn’t make sense. i’m actually almost positive i grabbed the wrong book, but i def. don’t want to walk back out to my car & then have to sign back in to the comp. lab, so i’m just going to go to wally world or something here in a bit.
i have to work tonight, from 4-8. i know its only 4 hours so it won’t be too bad, but man.. its going to go by so slow. there’s only been like 3 days that have actually gone by fast & i’ve worked there since MAY. & then tomorrow morning i work from 9-3. now that is going to suck.. real bad. its so slow in the mornings, its almost pointless. but whatever.. i have sunday off & i’m going to go see my babe.
i was just not going to tell him & then surprise him when i went up to his dorm room but then i figured what if he had other plans & he wasn’t there? so i told him & he said he’s been checking out movies & stuff and he’s trying to find things for us to do while i’m there. i think he can take me to the mall & buy me some stuff. =] but i know that won’t happen, so i know for sure we’re going out to eat & to a movie, but idk what else. i don’t really care what we do because i’ll be with him & i’ll be happy as long as davy doesn’t follow us everywhere. i can’t stand that kid. ugh.
anyways, i think i’m going to go take money outta the bank, fill up my car & go to wal-mart.
class in an hour. wa-hooo. 
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family
so this weekend dad & paula are going to michigan just for the sake of going i suppose.. its going to be weird without dad here. so much that i’m pretty sure it’ll make me that much happier he is in my life.
so the weekend will be a weekend of me & mom, & keira on saturday night.. but i do know how mom loves her alone time so i was thinking of going & seeing bryan on sunday. just take a 1 day trip up to CF to see him and we can just hang out & do whatever we choose. i think it’ll be good, i can see what he does on a day-to-day basis, even though he says its quite boring, i’ll just have to see for myself.
plus, i think its good for me to go up there because bryan’s not for sure coming back home until the 29th of this month. that is quite a ways away for me to wait & not see him.
speaking of bryan, we had this really good talk this past weekend.. about trust & hiding things from eachother & so on. i do trust him, but even he knows that there are 2 things within the past 2 years that he has tried hiding from me. they weren’t even really bad things, just things he hid from me because he didn’t want me to get upset. but he should just know that hiding things from me is going to make it 10X worse. i think i finally got it thru to him, but we’ll see. i hope i don’t catch him in another “lie” again. this has been 2 times in the past 2 years & there were a few things that he hid from me too when we first started dating, but then, i can see & understand those because those happened within 6 months of our relationship.
but now, being almost 4 1/2 years into our relationship, he should just know not to hide things from me. ugh, its frustrating just thinking about it, but i shouldn’t let it bother me.. we did talk about it & he says he won’t do it again. if he does, i don’t really know what i’m going to do, be extremely upset i know.. but idk.
he also made me understand that he misses me too, that i make it sound like i wait at home for him & miss him so much. he says he misses me too & he too, waits for the end of the week so he can come home. i understand that now. i really do, i think we really needed that talk.
well, my favorite show is going to be on in 3 minutes! if its not already, so i need to go watch it!!
<333
..long enough post ma?
another day
Today was the 1st day after a pretty good 3 day weekend & it was so hard for me to get up this morning, that I simply didn’t. I ended up turning off my alarm clock & going back to bed. Bryan called & woke me up at 8:30 to see how I was doing before he went to class & then I fell back asleep until 10! =0 It was great. I love the feeling of getting enough sleep. It’s great.
But, the down side to it is that I didn’t go to my first two morning classes. It actually doesn’t really bother me but I don’t want to get behind, but I really did need that sleep. I wonder if somethings wrong with me? That I need to sleep all the time, I guess after a few days if my stomach still feels funny when I lay on it, that mom will set up a doctor’s appt.
Just weird I think.
Darn Keira, tearing her books apart. I told her that Grandma just bought those for her last week & she just looks at me like “So?”. On the other side though, she has been extremely loving lately. It’s great, I love it.
Well that’s about all for now.
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