speaking of not knowing any more. today has been incredibly hard. i’ve thought about bryan A LOT. whyyyyy?

probably from working with jean. wednesday we plan on going up to coral ridge & getting a pretzel (something i use to do w/ bryan all the time). =( buttt.. she has wanted to get one since the beginning of the school year & we’ve just never gotten around to doing it. then, we’re going to go visit bryan’s grandparents. idk if this is going to be a good thing or bad thing, but really.. i miss them. a lot. maybe talking to them will even help me.. idk.

i just want things to be back like they use to be. there’s this girl i know, that i use to work with actually.. thats going thru a lot of the same stuff right now. but her & this guy have been broken up for 2-3 months & he has a gf. ouch, idk what i’d do if bryan got a gf, i would flip out. i’d be so lost, not even kidding. but they’ve just recently started talking again & they want things to work out. i wish bryan would come to me & say he wanted to try things over. ughhh. whyyy am i doing this to myself?!

i kind of feel like i’m setting myself up for heartache but idk. i want him to just contact me, let me know whats up. i just want to hear how he’s doing.

damn it.