update on my life, recently.
I haven’t written in so long, so I figured I should update with everything that has been going on.
Last time, I do believe I said I had a new crush, but didn’t want to say too much about it because I didn’t want to get my hopes up. But.. now, we’re “seeing eachother”, so I figured I should write about it. His name is Darrell, he’s 22.. he’s sooo nice & so respectful. It’s great. We only met a couple weeks ago, but so far.. things are going great. We even decided the other night that we were officially “seeing eachother” & not seeing anybody else. But that we’re not going to date quite yet, because we both agreed that I may not be ready to jump into another relationship so soon. So hopefully things continue to go well. 
I saw Bryan yesterday.. first time since Thanksgiving. We really didn’t have much to say to eachother. Kind of found it odd, we dated for 4 1/2 years & couldn’t find a thing to say. But oh well, everything happens for a reason, right? I talked to Darrell on the phone last night & told him I saw Bryan & he goes, “Oh.. was it love all over again?” & I was like, “No, definitely not.” & he goes, “Well that’s good to know.” =] I think I’ve just finally realized that things with Bryan aren’t going any where. Meeting & hanging out with Darrell has definitely helped me realize this and I’m glad, because it was about time something made me realize it. Like my mom has said, I’m pretty sure everything with Bryan is a closed-book. & for right now, I’m okay with that. I know there will come a day I’ll think about him & miss him, but for right now.. its good. Its where it should be.
Myyy weight. Since Bryan & I have broken up, I have now lost about 27 lbs. I don’t know if that’s something to be proud of or not.. I mean, I am just because I needed to lose weight; at the time I didn’t really want Bryan breaking up with me to be the reason I lost all the weight, but it worked. Mom seems a little worried, like she thinks I’m getting too skinny. But idk, I eat.. I really do, anybody can ask Crystal, I go over there every day & eat her out of food. Ha. I don’t know.
Lately, I have people calling me & texting me all the time to do something with them. It’s nice! I’m really & truly lucky that I still have friends. I seriously dropped all of them for Bryan.. & I’m really lucky they are able to push that aside & still be friends with me. Especially Kay.. because we were really close there for awhile & hen we stopped & now we’re slowly becoming really good friends again. We’re going shopping tomorrow.. I plan on just finishing up on xmas gifts.. but still, it’ll be a good time.
Well thats my life lately.. now I’m going to go jump in the shower, probably go to the tanning place to see if she has any openings.. then go over to Crystal’s.
<333
umm..
so.. lately.. hmm.
i’ve found myself a new crush, tho i don’t really want to say much about it, because idk whats going on or whats going to happen really. but we hung out friday night at jeremy & lorena’s. & like i said, i’m “crushing” on him, but i guess we’ll just see what happens. i dont want to jinx myself & i dont want to get my hopes up, even though i think i already have.. but, i’m trying not to. i just need to wait & see.. no wonder why i’m so impatient. i swear i’m always waiting for something..
thinking about this new crush of mine.. really takes my mind off of bryan. which is great, because idk, me & bryan aren’t really talking too much. but then when i do think about bryan, man do i really think. i really sit there & let it all flow out of me. its weird. idk how to describe it.
..yeah i had a lot more on my mind when i went to write this message, but i’m getting really tired, so i’ll just leave it here & go to bed.
<333
old friends.
i love getting in touch with old friends.
kay & i have been talking lately again. its great to catch up with her. we had a couple heart-to-hearts tonight. it was nice. =] we talked about her boyfriend, bryan, her roommates, soon to be ex-roommates.
then we talked about how we should road-trip or do something exciting for spring break. her, me & maybe a few others. that’d be super exciting. we didnt know where for sure we should go, but we agreed on somewhere warm. i still wouldnt mind going down to florida for spring break.. be on the beach, ahh i’d love it. but idk, last time checked, tickets during that time were $600!! dont think i can afford that, plus everything else down there. plus i doubt any of my friends could either. so we’ll see.
we are going to hang out saturday night, we dont know for sure what we’re doing yet, i dont get off til 8 & she probably wont get in town til 8, so she said she was going to come over here & hangout while i got ready. hopefully we find something to do.. like tomorrow. haha. or else idk what we’ll do. we shall see about that one too.
thats all i’ve got for this one.
wrapping up the year survey.
1st off.. i want to explain what it is that i’m doing. i found this survey & i began to put it on my original website BUT i realized it was too personal & i didn’t want too many people to see what all i had to say for the answers. so for now, i’m going to just keep it on here. hope you enjoy!
Calendar Year Review…
JANUARY: How did you ring in 2007? Details! Where, who, kiss, etc???
– actually, me & bryan hung out at home because there wasn’t really anything going on. & bryan was my kiss.
FEBRUARY: Were you in a relationship for Valentine’s Day and what’d you do?
– i was in a relationship, but it was also our 4th vday together.. so we weren’t really that into it. plus, now thinking about it, i dont think we really had the money to do anything.
MARCH: Did you celebrate St. Patty’s Day by getting drunk?
– nope, we spent st. patty’s day in a car, driving home from florida.
APRIL: Did you have to walk in the rain (or any month in 07)?
– yes. but i dont mind, i love the rain. <333
MAY: Did you fail any classes?
– no, i didnt.
JUNE: Did you buy a new swimsuit?
– no, i really didnt like my body, plus i dont swim much, so there was really no point.
JULY: Did you party on 4th of July?
– nope, i worked.
AUGUST: Did you go to the beach?
– nope.
SEPTEMBER: Did you start school again?
– i actually started in august, but yeah.
OCTOBER: What did you dress as for Halloween?
– nada.
NOVEMBER: What did you do for Thanksgiving?
– this thanksgiving was extremely hard for me & i didnt have a good time at all. i’m sorry, but i’m not going to lie about it.
DECEMBER: What do you want/what did you get for Christmas?
– i do believe all i’m getting is money & gift certificates, which is fine with me. bc this girl needs a new wardrobe! =]
Personal Reflection
Did you reach your goals for 2007?
– yes, eventually. my goal was to lose weight.. i didnt exactly lose it how i wanted to, but it worked.
Beside your set goals, what else did you accomplish?
– i’m not sure.
What is something you’ve learned about yourself?
– that you cannot depend completely on another person. this is life & in the end, all you have is yourself.
Did you do anything you never thought you’d ever do?
– no. but i went thru something i never thought i’d go through. & bryan agrees, because he even told me that he never saw the day coming that we would break up, but that he also didn’t see things getting any better with the way we were going. & maybe he’s right — they do say everything happens for a reason.
In 2007, Did You…
Change your appearance?
– not too much, i dropped a little over 20 lbs butttt.. idk.
Move to a new place?
– we did, back in april.
Go to a concert?
– the one at the fair.
Go to a sporting event?
– indeed.
Get a new job?
– yes.
Get a new addition to your family?
– nope.
Gain new friends?
– sure did!
Lose old friends?
– sort of, but it seems like we’re all slowly coming back together.
Get into a fight (verbal or physical)?
– many verbal. no physical fights.
Puke from drinking too much?
– yes i did, back in march or april.
Travel?
– yep.
Go to a wedding?
– yes.
Go to a funeral?
– no, surprisingly. that might sound bad, but all i mean is.. that i didnt & maybe its just bc there were so many in ‘06. =(
Go to the hospital?
– yes, for poor keira. my lil baby.
Have any run-ins with the law?
– i got pulled over once, because the cop didnt think i had my seatbelt on, which i did. thanks.
Start a relationship?
– no.
End a relationship?
– this is depressing me.
Spend over $1000 on something?
– yeah, tuition.
Favorite 2007…
Month?
– probably all the beginning months & the summer.
Season?
– spring & summer.
Holiday?
– probably my birthday because we were in florida & i was with him. <333
Memory?
– every one with bryan.
Party?
– probably the one just this past weekend. haha.
Event?
– i’m not sure.
Club/Bar/Hangout?
– lol. considering i’m only 18 & i’m technically not even suppose to be at the bars.. yeah.
Moment you laughed so hard that you cried?
– too many. they were all obviously good ones if i was laughing so hard i started to cry!
Movie?
– probably freedom writer’s.
Song?
– one republic- apologize.
Worst 2007…
Memory?
– me & bryan breaking up for sure.
Day at work or school?
– every day. haha, idk.
Embarrassing moment?
– i’m not sure.
Fight/Disagreement/Argument?
– every fight, every disgreement & every argument with bryan.
Pain you felt?
– bryan breaking up with me. that is seriously the most painful thing i’ve gone thru in my entire life.
Person you met?
– stupid girls.
Movie?
– idk?
Song?
– again idk.
Place?
– not sure.
For NYE 07-08…
Where will you be?
– i really don’t know at this point, i’m just taking it all as it comes.
Who will be there?
– again, idk.
Do you want to kiss someone at midnight?
– i do. but if its anybody, it would be bryan; but i’m definitely not getting my hopes up for that one.
What are you wearing?
– are you serious? i have no idea.
In 2008…
What are your goals?
– to do better in school, as lame as this may sound.. get bryan back.
What do you look forward to?
– being done w/ my freshman year of school, the summer.
