so friday night.. matt, crystal & i went over to jerry’s (bryan’s brother) house, where we played poker. right at first, bryan didnt really talk to me & i loved the fact that i could have really cared less. it was like he was nothing to me, like i was blind to the fact that he was even there.

we began to play poker & he sort of started talking to me in the group, pretty much just contributing to the conversation. that was the first time i actually looked him in the eyes. those same, big, green eyes with the beautiful long eye lashes. BUT that was when i noticed he was chewing. thats disgusting! honestly.. lets just hope for mouth cancer here. ughh.

this just goes to show that everybody changes. a person that i knew & dated for over 4 1/2 years is completely different than what he use to be. he chews, he’s starting to gain weight & he drinks beer. bryan’s dad chews & i remember bryan always talking about how gross it was & how his teeth were rotting & he couldn’t believe he’d want to do something so disgusting. just to find out tho, that bryan has been chewing for over a year.. so that means he hid that too from me, while we were dating.

i dont understand how somebody could be so heartless. my family did so much for him, he told me how much he loved me & how we’d be together all throughout college & nothing would change between us. he promised. & to find out hes been chewing for so long, i dont even really see how its possible that he could have chewed while we were dating, we were always together, he lived with me, he couldnt have hid it in his car.. because we often took his car to go places & at the time, we were always comfortable enough going thru eachother’s stuff knowing the other wouldnt be mad. unless him saying he’s been chewing for over a year is a lie too. because well think about it, that wouldnt surprise me much.

like mom says, “the apple doesnt always fall far from the tree”. i just hope he doesnt get some girl pregnant & then not want anything to do w/ the kid after a couple years like his dad did.

its like the whole situation with bryan really bothers me, to the point where i’d like to never talk to him again & have nothing to do with him. but we always said that no matter the situation, we’d always be friends after we broke up. & i dont think i could have somebody in my life for as long as 5+ years, only dating for over 4 1/2 (but still) & completely keep them out of my life. we had so many good times together, but he’s changed so much. idk, i’m just glad i dont have to see him every day. he kind of grosses me out; just in who hes become.

..just when you think you know somebody so well; you find out promises were always broken & they never could tell the truth to begin with.. just when you thought you knew.