“sometimes you have to forget how you feel & remember what you deserve.”

so, for some odd reason.. today has been the first day since mine & jesse’s argument last tuesday that i’ve actually sat down & not been able to get my mind off of him. idk what it is or why. its really bothering me tho. i really dont understand why.. jesse treated me like crap & always blamed me for things i didnt even do. its like he was trying to find ways to not be with me the whole time. & this time, this relationship; i know its not my fault. because i know jesse’s immature & i never should have thought that he was actually going to be ready for a long-term commitment. which is what i want, its what i always want.

matt said to me the other day, “you know, it seems like you’re out to find a forever-thing & nothing short termed.” & i said back, “yeah, short time is only fun for awhile; i feel like the short-terms are a waste of my time” he agreed. ugh its aggravating. i can’t stand it tho, WHY do i even care?

its exactly what the quote says, sometimes, you DO have to forget how you feel and you have to remember what you deserve, because i know damn well i dont deserve how jesse treated me. i just dont, nobody does. its not right.

..lately hanging out with adam has been amazing. we have so much fun, he makes me laugh. i love when a guy can make me laugh. adam has me laughing ALL the time; there’s never ever ever a dull moment with him. we can be sitting there, not talking about anything & i’m still having a good time. adam & i haven’t come out & told eachother we like eachother, but i’m pretty sure its obvious. duhh. we don’t always have something to say to eachother, but its never awkward either. sadly, i am excited to see what becomes of us.

ahhh.

June 30, 2008. emotions/feelings, heartbreak., love..

2 Comments

  1. Marge replied:

    why do you say sadly you are excited about what becomes of the two of you? you should be happy and tell him that he makes you happy.
    that you like him a lot.
    Especially if something more is coming of it.
    like the staying over night at his place?????? :)

  2. syborg replied:

    i’m stuck in the same boat as you and can totally relate! my current man/x bf what ever day of the week you ask doesn’t make me feel like he wants me there for the long haul. i want a long term relationship and even though we broke up only a week ago i started hanging out with a long time friend in a new way. hanging out with the new guy brings a smile to my face but always in the back of my mind is the man i can’t get along with nor can i get over. what’s a girl to do?? i guess i’ll take your advise and know never forget what i deserve…. wish me luck with the new guy that makes me feel how a man should make a woman feel =)
    ~S~

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